House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Cast includes:
CHARACTER	ACTOR/ACTRESS	RATING
Captain Spaulding	Sid Haig
Mother Firefly	Karen Black
Stucky	Michael J. Pollard

Review

Here is a truly awful motion picture. House of 1000 Corpses is not only totally unprofessional on a technical level, but also droopingly uncreative. The film is the feature debut of rock video director Rob Zombie, a man that, if he has filmmaking talents whatsoever, fails completely to show them here. The writing is bad plagiarism at its best, but rarely so. Most of the time it consists of incoherent and unappealing scenes laced with dialogue of no interest. However, the direction is even worse, shot with no sense of continuity, and certainly no sense of refinement. House of 1000 Corpses, when luck strikes, is kitschy, but don't expect too many moments of that either. Most of all it's unprofessional. And just to underline the misery, the make-up jobs are so distinctively bad that it seems to have been executed by a kid on a rampage with a canvas.